Twenty-Five

I was so scared of turning 25, but I'm here now.

In 2015, I changed my debit card password to “2022”. This is because I really looked forward to the year I was going to clock 25. By my calculations, I thought I'd have gotten rich, (will get) married, and would have had so many achievements at 25.

LOL. I mean, I'm grateful; Alhamdulillah. But LOL still.

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I love birthdays. They're an opportunity to reflect on how far you've come, to celebrate, to feel good about yourself, and to receive the love that you wouldn't receive on normal days. But I won't even lie; I felt really somehow these past months. To me, this 25 is just like 18, but harder. The difference between 18 and 17 is a year but feels much more than that because 18 is when you become an adult. This excites many people because they finally get the freedom to do some things, or to be recognized as adults.

This is (was?) how I feel about moving from 24 to 25. But definitely not in the pleasant manner as most people feel at 18. I feel like this because I had projected that I would be very alright by the time I clock this age, but you know; not there yet. But I also won't lie that I have achieved some things I never thought of, and that I have blessings I didn't even pray for. And I'm grateful to God for that.

I know all of those things about not attaching achievements to age, and to be honest, I agree that it makes sense not to. But knowledge is different from your feelings and emotions, and our thought sometimes isn't our reality.

Recruiters don't care that you spent a little more time in school, nor will the world wait for you while you try to fix up your life. But if you missed Forbes 25 under 25, just maybe you could still make 26 under 26, 50 under 50, or they start 25 over 25 because of you. Anything is possible.

Cover page: Forbes 25 over 25.

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I sometimes feel inadequate, and even though I love my life and wouldn't trade it with anyone's, I still find myself wishing I am at the level that some people I know are. 

But I think most times, I deal with this feeling well. How?

1. By judging myself with factors specific to me.

Success, wealth, and every good thing are products of a lot of things. It would be unfair on me to expect that I have in 2 years, what took other people 5 years to get, just because we are mates.

2. The social ladder is so high that it's technically impossible to get to the very top.

Since that is a fact, it will be stupid of me not to enjoy and appreciate all the steps I take in my journey.

I know I'm broke now and can't afford most things I want. But to be fair, I'm richer and have achieved more than my last year self.

Well, I do not feel richer, but that's because of a lot of factors: standards have changed, lifestyle is different, people around me have gotten way richer, etc.

But isn't it always going to be like this no matter how rich and successful I get? Because standards will change again, and there will always be people more successful. 

So as much as I am trying to make more money and at least x15 my current income before the end of the year, I recognize that I am in a better place, and I have grown. And I am grateful for this blessing too.

3. Nothing is in my control.

This is the whole point of life, and thinking about it is relieving, scary, and humbling—depending on how/when you're thinking about it. I do not determine the outcome of what I do, and I do not know what will happen to me tomorrow, but I still have to work for what I want.

I have realised that luck is the most important factor in achieving success. But luck doesn't find people, you have to look for it and prepare for it so that when it passes by you and decides to pick you, you'll be ready for it. You basically have to work to get lucky. 

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Actually... It's not every time that I feel inadequate. Sometimes, I'm just unable to deny my numerous blessings.

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I still get scared sha. Because in this life ehn, you may think you're being patient, and you're just wasting your time. You can be moving in silence, and yet be moving mad. Chai, life's hard!

But I'll find solace in the fact that I'm trying, and that all the people who matter, believe in me. 

25 has come and I'm not where I thought I'd be, yet. But I am grateful for life and for coming this far. There's a lot I could be feeling right now, but I've chosen happiness.

I skipped work and got myself a birthday gift and a cake. And my people have showered me with gifts too. Even if I wanted to be sad or down, I couldn't. 

Because of course, it’s plentyyyyyyy.