It Does Not Get Easier
I'm writing this piece because it's been a long time since I wrote something that isn't contractually or financially motivated. Usually, when I write just because I want to, I tend to write about myself. That way, I am free from the stress of opening different tabs on my browser. No fact-checking, no searching synonyms, no adhering to rules, no chasing perfection, and no call-to-action.
I love this organic flow; writing as it is inside my head. However I say I feel is how I feel. Even if that's not how I feel, who will hold me? Definitely not you, or anyone. Writing freedom; love it!
The past months have been crazy. I’ve not had much energy, but I think it’s a general problem. It seems like everyone is tired nowadays. I've not had time for many of my favourite activities, but I've not stopped learning; both by choice and by force.
I feel like I'm at the stage where I have to get it right or things I do not want might start happening. I am scared of settling; rightfully so, as I’m not dust. But even more than that, I'm scared of needing help. Because if you need help, many people will want to help you. And if many people want to help you, it reduces your chance of getting the help you need. So much pressure on you, and a very big chance of you disappointing all your potential helpers. Sigh!
This is a comeback post, so one paragraph of darkness is enough. Let me share some random stuff hanging in my head instead. I'll be brief.
I know the solution, but the problem still exists.
I haven't published anything here because I've been procrastinating.
I know I've been busy, and I have still not found the perfect way to balance working more than one job, trying to keep fit, hanging out with my friends, keeping in touch with family, going out on my free days, and upskilling.
It is easy for me to give the excuse of having so much to do and it will look valid, but deep down, I haven't published (or done some other important things) for a while because I've been procrastinating.
Many of us suffer from this problem, but the solution has never been too far-fetched for me. Someone asked me what the solution to procrastinating is a few days ago and I told him “just start”.
I started writing this article, not because I don't have anything to do (trust me, I have a lot), and not because I have an initial draft. But because I know that starting is the most important thing when you want to get something done.
Other issues may arise later though; delivery, consistency, perfection, etc. These are legitimate issues, but they wouldn't exist if starting never happens.
I am not trying to give an absolute solution to procrastinating because that is going to be a thesis. I am only trying to show how important “starting” is, and I hope I haven't failed.
It doesn't get easier
Things don't get easier, we only adjust or suffer.
Someone contacted me on LinkedIn and wanted me to work on a very interesting volunteering project with him. I couldn't take the offer because I already have a lot on my plate. He understood when I explained my situation to him, but he dropped me some words of wisdom after our chat. Something like:
“if you wait till you're free before you get involved in doing voluntary stuff, then you might never get the opportunity to because it doesn't get easier.”
Many times, we postpone the things we’d love to do for when we'll have more time. But in reality, we might never have more free time than we have at the moment. It's a busy world; the design is “become an adult > finish school > start working > begin a family > never rest until you're old.” A lot of people’s life follows that timeline, but when you look at it critically, you see that there's no time for “all the things you couldn't do when you were busy”, anywhere.
Life is in stages and moving from one stage to another requires settling and adjusting. You never get to enjoy absolute freedom — so why wait for what will most likely not come before you do what you’ll love to?
You have to be able to fit in those important voluntary things you want to do, somehow. If you'll not be able to dedicate 2 days in a month to a cause, you can try 2 hours. If you're consistent, that will make a lot of difference.
I hope I take my advice.
We should never stop reminding ourselves and others of the things that matter.
So I’m going to use this piece to remind you (and myself) not to give up trying, and to make what is valuable important.
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Maybe it truly doesn’t get easier. But it can always be managed, and may just get better. Fair!
I'll write to you when I can, again. In sha Allah.